Suzanne à Grenoble

There have been two news headlines in the past week involving teenagers doing horrible things to animals for apparent fun. The more recent incident involved two Missouri boys (one teenager and a 21-year-old) feeding vodka to a puppy at a party and nearly killing it. Poor little Daisy!

The other animal cruelty story, from April 28: two girls videotaped themselves kicking a cat wrapped in plastic around a room while yelling at it! What? When did it become acceptable--fashionable, even--to abuse animals?

These kids are giving the Midwest a bad name.

To further upset you, a friend told me a story last week from the road (I think this happened somewhere in Colorado or Utah): he witnessed a man in a motel parking lot beating up a puppy in the back of a pickup truck. At one point, my source said, the man threw the puppy onto the ground. When he and another bystander confronted the man, he said something like, "oh, this puppy deserves what she's getting. She just needs to learn." Then they called the animal police, who were unable to locate any signs of abuse, so the man got to keep his puppy--or should I say, punching bag?

What's going on here? Does it seem like people are getting a lot angrier and finding the most horrible ways to express that anger?

The only bad thing about trying to establish an exercise routine is that when I break it, I feel terrible. Today I tried so hard to get up at 6 a.m. with the idea that I'd be on the path at 6:30, then back by 7:30 in time to shower before leaving at 8 for an appointment at 8:30.

It didn't work that way.

First of all, I set 3 alarms. But I think setting 3 alarms made me even more anxious, because around 6:00, I had a dream that it was night time and I was just starting to fall asleep when: bi-bi-bi-beep! bi-bi-bi-beep! The first one--my cell phone alarm--forced the realization that I had already been asleep for seven hours. I hit snooze. It kept bugging me every five minutes until I finally turned it off around 6:30 and stayed in bed.

I thought about running, I really did. A vague, foggy voice kept softly telling me, "you want to be out there. This is why you set the alarms. Just get up and you'll see." But I said "screw you" to that little voice and kept sleeping. The second alarm was set for 7 a.m. I don't know why I set the alarms like this. It was like a ticket to stay in bed. The second alarm was really more of a nuisance. It was the radio, which always seems so bizarre coming out of sleep. Like, "who are these people in my room at 7 a.m. and why are they talking about Christina Aguilera?" I hit snooze several times because I couldn't figure out how to turn the damn thing off (it's a borrowed clock radio from someone who has to get up really early all the time. I used to always wake up on time when he had to get up. Don't know why it doesn't work when I'm alone...). I finally turned the volume off on the radio and went back to sleep, realizing that it was too late to run and be back in time to shower.

The third and final alarm was the buzzer at 7:30 a.m. Curse the people who make clock radios with more than one alarm. It really is just a way to delay the inevitable. With one alarm, you realize that you don't have a choice, and you get up. With two, you pretend you're getting up early, but really you're just allowing yourself to sleep in until the last minute anyways. I hit snooze several more times and then finally was somewhat awake, but just lay in bed and stared at walls for a couple more minutes, then pulled my laptop on my stomach, checked my email, spaced out a little bit longer, and then FINALLY, after it was either get up or call in sick, I dragged myself into the shower and got ready to go.

Haven't exercised since Wednesday night (unless you count Irish Step dancing, which wasn't much of a workout because Lisa and I ate Mexican food, including blood orange margaritas, right before we danced, so we were sluggish and ill throughout the class). This can't go on. Tomorrow I will get up at a reasonable hour and take a run and go to my favorite Pilates class.

Don't worry, I'm not turning into one of those obsessive worker outers. I just like how I feel when I'm active. And I look pretty good, too.

I just want to give a shout out to my friend, Stacey. I've known her since kindergarten, when (as she often likes to recall), I sported a beehive-like mop of red curls atop my little head. Stacey has a simply wonderful foodie Web site called Just Braise. I was reminded of just how good her site is when I came across this other food blog: http://blog.myyee.com. There's just no comparison. I'm sure this other blogger puts a lot of work into her recipes and photos, but Stacey's work is just, well, better. And Stacey writes fantastic stories to accompany each dish. And her photography might as well be cut from a gastronomy magazine because it's so professional-looking. Take a look, and tell me what you think.

Last night, my dad (and mom) bought me a new cell phone (early birthday present). This is my first "new" phone in about 3 years, and the only one I've owned that's got really extraneous novelty features, like a mini camcorder and camera, and ability to play mp3s. Unfortunately, it's so fancy and slick that I can't figure out how to use any of these features, and the battery is so thin that it probably won't last a day if I talk more than a couple of times. I have 14 days to return it, and may end up doing so, because what good is a fancy phone if you can't figure out how to use it?
(Yes, that is me at work. Yes, I am posting this from work. Yes, I did take those pictures of myself. Yes, my job is very exciting)

Last Thursday (almost a week ago--sorry, I've been behind in postings) was my Irish Step class's 2nd "graduation" show at the Old Town School of Folk Music. As you can see, I'm an Irish step dancing superstar.


Later that night, I brought my guitar out of its dusty cavern and played open mic night at the Tin Lizzy, 'round the corner from where I live. I was cajoled into going on stage, and probably could have used about a month's worth more practice, but it was a good way to get back into performing. I've been listening to a lot of bluegrass-esque music lately, and decided that this term, in addition to Irish Step, I'll be taking a bluegrass ensemble class. Pretty soon, I'll be speaking with an Irish brogue and a southern twang at the same time. It will be HOT.

I discovered recently that running doesn't have to suck. All my life, I've wanted to be a runner, but couldn't get past the first mile. It made me feel like I wanted to die. But the other day, my cousin Howard (a veteran recreational runner) told me I was probably trying to run too fast and tiring out too soon. With legs like these, boys, my instinct is to use them to their fullest potential and run like a gazelle (I guess that would be more like leaping, but you know what I mean). It always seemed old-mannish to run slowly and not be keeping up with the other svelte yuppies sprinting on the path along the lake. Yet going fast, feeling like you want to hurl, then stopping after a short distance probably aren't as healthy as keeping up a good cardio-building jog consistently for longer distances and building up more speed each time.

This isn't rocket science, but somehow the concept never fully hit me until now.

Now I'm up to almost 4 miles of smooth jogging and it feels grrrrreat. I'm not going to tell you how much time it takes me, but I'll let you know when I get to marathon speed ;)

I guess like the song goes, "nice and easy does it every time."

(Just kidding, it's just me)

It looks like I'll be venturing back to the island of Manhattan in the fall, for better or for worse. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be heading back to school--it's exciting as hell--but I'm not as awed by the Big Apple as I once was. My recent visit reminded me that NYC is a myriad of Stuff to buy, to eat, to do, etc. and it feels like everyone is "on" all the time. The nagging question: how will I constrain the consumeristic self that lurks inside when I'm surrounded by all this Stuff all the time? I guess having little money and being extremely busy will curb the desire to buy, have, and be cooler than everyone else.

Yes, it is hard to be stuck inside a question mark—
harder still to not know who asked the question
or what they were trying to find out in the first place.
It is, in fact, in case you were wondering, very difficult
to try to make stuff happen during the day,
for money,
when all you can think about is,
What’s coming next?
Not the Next of tomorrow or this afternoon,
but the Next Phase of your life,
when it’s all going to happen.
When what you’ve been wading through the river of Uncertainty for
and taking your daily dose of SuckItUP
will finally reciprocate and give you something More.

And it is about the Journey--you know that.
You know you’ve got to count your blessings and enjoy the path,
not focus on the Destination.
But sometimes you just ache with Anticipation
when they won’t give you what you want (when you want it).
Sometimes you just want to beat down their door
and ask them to make up their fucking minds already.

Fate is cruel to little girls with big dreams
who know they’ve got It but don’t know what It is just yet.